


How Not to Befriend a Chocobo

by MistakenValkyrie



Series: The Journey of Bhunivelze's Chosen [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Chocobos are both adorable and mean, Crossover, Crossover Pairing, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:19:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8451496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistakenValkyrie/pseuds/MistakenValkyrie
Summary: After both Sephiroth and Lightning rescue the Angel of Valhalla from the chocobo eater, the bird begins to recover quite quickly. Sephiroth does odd jobs around Canopus Farms to ensure that Dr Gysahl, the village veterinarian, continues to watch over the mythical bird as he recovers and Lightning travels around to save people's souls and find more feed and greens for her new feathered companion. When the Angel of Valhalla meets a dirt-loving chocobo under the good vet's care, the terrible twosome become a recipe for disaster for Sephiroth.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, this little fic is set after 'That Dress Makes Me Want To Kill You'. I have decided to turn the idea into a series of smallish fics, but they may not be in chronological order. I hope you enjoy this piece as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> I do not own anything from Lightning Returns or Final Fantasy VII.

Despite the frequent and aggressive Chaos Infusions, the Wildlands were vastly different to Luxerion’s claustrophobic atmosphere and smoggy horizon. 

The air was fresh and clean, and there were hardly any buildings in sight. It was a place where nature could thrive and humans could easily coexist with the friendlier animals that called it home. The skies were a vivid blue and perfectly clear, there was not a single cloud in sight. The beautifully lush green grass swayed in the breeze. 

Canopus Farms was a small little village fairly close to the station, a quaint little community where a few people who wished to stay away from the busy, chaotic life that both Yusnaan and Luxerion were famous for. 

Thanks to Sephiroth and Lightning’s efforts, the soil of the village’s farm was fertile once more and the townspeople felt a sense of hope as they watched the Saviour and their very own Dr Gysahl nurse the legendary Angel of Valhalla back to full health. 

Sephiroth set the hoe down on the ground and leant on the battered white fence that kept the chocobos away from the greens that were almost ready to harvest. 

The Angel of Valhalla chirped merrily as Lightning held up a gysahl green to him in her open palm. The bird snatched up the vegetable and devoured it so quickly that the veterinarian was worried he’d give himself stomach pains from eating too fast. The chocobo ruffled his white feathers, the sunlight hit his plumage and made the green tinge almost shimmer. 

Sephiroth smirked as he watched how Lightning slightly lifted her heels off the ground to reach his beak. 

She caught sight of Sephiroth’s smirk out of the corner of her eye and frowned as she lowered her heels back down to the ground. 

‘Say anything about how you think I’m short and I will punch you,’ Lightning warned. 

Lightning sighed as Sephiroth’s smirk still stayed on his lips. 

‘Light, just accept that it will eventually happen,’ Hope suggested through both of their earpieces. 

She frowned and turned her attention back to the chocobo. Lightning kept the bird occupied with cheek scratches and neck rubs as Dr Gysahl inspected the wound. 

The Angel squirmed a little before he cooed and nuzzled the Saviour’s hand with the curve of his beak. 

The vet hummed thoughtfully before he straightened up and walked over to Lightning’s side. 

‘His wound is healing up rather nicely. He should almost be ready to take you to wherever he has to lead you,’ Dr Gysahl announced. 

‘That’s good news. Thanks, Doctor. I’ll keep him rested, fed, and happy until then,’ Lightning replied with a small nod. 

‘Excellent, that should help speed up his recovery. I’ll leave you to it,’ the veterinarian said. 

Lightning faced the chocobo again and rubbed his neck. 

The bird cooed and leant into her touch. 

She rubbed the area just above his beak and he closed his eyes with pleasure. Once she stopped scratching that area, the Angel of Valhalla hopped and beat his wings with a happy squawk. 

Dr Gysahl chuckled at the bird’s enthusiasm, it was endearing to see such a proud and wild creature find companionship and happiness in a single person. The vet turned to Sephiroth, who was busy scooping his incredibly long hair up into a high ponytail so that it stayed out of the way and kept his neck cool. 

Never had he regretted listening to PR’s advice regarding his old SOLDIER uniform until he had to follow Lightning through the incredibly hot sands and stuffy ruins of the Dead Dunes, and do odd jobs for the villagers of Canopus Farms just to ensure that they continued to aid the Saviour. 

‘When you’ve finished helping Sarala with the crops, Chelsea needs a bath,’ the vet told the Sephiroth. 

Lightning glanced over at Sephiroth and raised an eyebrow at him. 

Sephiroth tried to ignore Hope’s chuckling, but unfortunately it was unavoidable as the light chortle rang in his ear. He winced because of how loud it was. 

‘Again?’ Sephiroth asked. Once he was sure that his hair wasn’t going to fall out, he picked up the hoe and sighed. ‘I’ll make sure that she’s bathed before it gets too cold.’ 

‘Make sure you do, she keeps rolling in dirt and we can’t allow any of her scratches to get infected,’ the Doctor replied and retreated to his tent to write some notes about the Angel’s progress. 

Sephiroth disregarded Lightning’s smirk as he returned to his task of ensuring that the weeds that had sprung up after Sarala’s father left were no longer attempting to take over the garden bed. 

Sarala herself sat on the fence and watched the chocobo ruffle his feathers and coo at the Saviour. 

‘He’s such a beautiful bird,’ Sarala said as she wiped her shirt over the lenses of her pale pink glasses before she placed them back on her face. 

‘He is,’ Lightning replied and gently wrapped her arms around the bird’s neck before she buried her face in his soft feathers. 

Sephiroth turned his head and watched Lightning give the Angel of Valhalla a big hug before she lifted her heels off the ground to press a kiss against the bird’s cheek. 

‘Don’t get too jealous of the chocobo, Sephiroth,’ Hope teased. 

The corner of Sephiroth’s mouth twitched and crossed his arms. ‘Very funny, Hope.’ 

Lightning’s smile stayed on her face she turned to watch Sephiroth hack away at the withered weeds that hid in the corner of the garden bed. 

He glanced over at Lightning and stopped when he noticed that she was watching him. A small smile tugged at his lips and Lightning looked away to try and hide the blush that crept up onto her cheeks. 

The Angel of Valhalla huffed, he had been receiving lots of attention from the Saviour until she looked over at Sephiroth. He glared at Sephiroth with an intensity so hostile that it would have been similar to the look the bird would have worn when he first challenged the chocobo eater. 

Sephiroth noticed the way that the bird glowered at him and pursed his lips at the Angel. 

‘Light… that bird is staring at me,’ Sephiroth announced. 

‘Sephiroth, it’s just a chocobo. What can he do to you?’ Hope questioned with a small chuckle. 

‘I don’t think he likes me much,’ Sephiroth answered. 

‘Well, Dr Gysahl did say that he doesn’t want anybody near him but me,’ Lightning replied. 

The bird nudged her shoulder and she glanced over at the white chocobo behind her. He prodded her shoulder again and Lightning shook her head at the Angel before she turned around to give him the past he so desperately wanted from her. 

Sephiroth turned his attention back to the task at hand and continued to rip the weed’s roots out of the ground. 

‘I’ve never seen a more demanding bird than this one,’ Hope commented. 

‘He’s lucky he’s adorable,’ Lightning replied and the bird cooed at her. She went back to showering him with affection. 

Dr Gysahl stepped out of his tent and looked over at the small group of bright yellow chocobos that roamed the grassy area just outside the front of the village. He counted only three chocobos when there should have been four. He wandered out into the village’s square and tried to locate where that missing bird could be. He heard the playful chirruping of a bird coming from the other side of the village. 

The vet walked over to where the sounds were coming from and he placed his hands on his hips with a huff, he had found the missing chocobo alright. 

The bird’s bright plumage was covered with dust, dirt and grime, her feet were squirming around in the air as she rubbed her neck against the ground. Though Dr Gysahl was far from amused, the chocobo was heartily enjoying playing around.

‘Bhunivelze damn it, Chelsea! Get out of that dirt!’ Dr Gysahl scolded. 

As soon as Sephiroth heard the Doctor yell at the chocobo, he closed his eyes and sighed. 

Lightning couldn’t help but to chuckle at Sephiroth’s reaction, she could tell that he never expected the villagers to ask him to do this much work in exchange for helping her bring the mystical chocobo back to health. Though she still wanted to ask Sephiroth why he had continued to follow her and help her with her duty as Saviour, she still had the feeling that he wouldn’t tell her. 

Lightning wondered if she could talk one of his old friends into prying the answer out of him. She had a feeling that if anyone was going to get that kind of answer out of Sephiroth, it would be either Genesis, Angeal, or Zack that could do so. 

Lightning gave the Angel another gysahl green before she wandered over to the fence that separated Sarala’s farm from the vet’s holding pen and leant her elbows on top of the wood. She watched Sephiroth pull the last of the weeds out of the ground and put them in the wheelbarrow where all the rest of the uprooted weeds were.   
Sarala got down from the fence and surveyed the farm before she clapped her hands excitedly, all of the weeds were finally gone. ‘Thank you for helping me with these pesky weeds. The gysahl greens will grow a lot better now.’ 

‘I’d hope so. If you do have any other problems with the plants, I’m not the person you need. However, I do have a friend who is great with plants. I could ask him to help out,’ Sephiroth replied and leant the hoe against the fence. 

‘I hope that friend isn’t Genesis. He’s probably be more likely to set the place on fire than help a plant grow,’ Lightning teased. 

Sephiroth couldn’t help but to chuckle at the mental image of Genesis getting upset at the fact that the plants wouldn’t grow as quickly as he wanted and set them on fire with frustration. ‘No, it’s not. Angeal is the one with the green thumb.’ 

‘That makes sense,’ Lightning replied with a slow nod. 

Once the Angel of Valhalla finished eating, he noticed that the Saviour had her back turned to him and her gaze was fixed on Sephiroth. The bird huffed as he glared at Sephiroth. 

Sephiroth couldn’t help but to stare back at the bird with suspicion; the chocobos that he had encountered during his time in SOLDIER and the four chocobos that he assisted Dr Gysahl in looking after had no problems with him. He chose to ignore the withering glare the chocobo gave him and wandered over to Lightning’s side. 

The Saviour turned around and smiled. She reached for his ponytail and twisted his hair around her fingers. ‘Your hair looks good up.’ 

They could almost hear Hope roll his eyes as he groaned. ‘I’m starting to wish that you went to Yusnaan alone, Light.’ 

‘Hope, as Lightning has said before, you don’t need to watch us. You shouldn’t have a say in what we do and don’t do,’ Sephiroth replied. 

‘Well said,’ Lightning said with a small smile. 

Hope grumbled before he went silent. 

Just as Sephiroth went to turn away, Lightning grasped his wrist and pulled him back. 

‘I have to go bathe Chelsea before she gives Dr Gysahl a stroke,’ Sephiroth said and pursed his lips. 

He was not looking forward to bathing that chocobo. 

‘I’m sure he can wait a few minutes,’ Lightning replied and gently brushed her fingers across his cheek. 

Sephiroth’s hands rested on her waist and he bent down to press his nose against hers. 

The Angel ruffled his feathers in order to make himself appear bigger and moved closer to where Lightning and Sephiroth stood against the weathered white fence. 

Lightning rose to the tips of her toes and gently pressed her lips against Sephiroth’s. 

The bird prodded the pauldron on Sephiroth’s coat, the dull thud of his beak against metal distracted the Saviour from her companion’s soft lips. 

They both looked over at the chocobo behind them, the bird puffed out his chest and glared down at Sephiroth. 

‘This chocobo doesn’t like me at all,’ Sephiroth said as he stared right back into the chocobo’s eyes, refusing to let this animal try to intimidate him. 

‘At least I know he’s feeling better,’ Lightning said. 

The bird stopped giving Sephiroth an overly hostile glare long enough to tilt his head sideways to look at Lightning with faux innocence. 

She couldn’t help but to laugh at how quickly the Angel had changed his mood. 

‘Look, he’s obviously got a little more personality than the other chocobos do. He’s a legendary animal, he’s allowed to be a little sassy,’ Lightning said with a smirk. 

‘I guess you’re right,’ Sephiroth replied with a sigh. 

‘Don’t let him stop you from kissing me though,’ Lightning said. 

Lightning ran her hands up his chest and grabbed the collar of his coat before she pulled him down and captured his lips with hers. 

Sephiroth chuckled against her lips before he tightened his grip on her waist and pulled away, hoping that she’d chase him for more. 

She tugged his coat again and kissed him, she wrapped her arms around his neck in order to try and stop him from pulling away again. 

The white chocobo huffed at their show of affection and pecked at Sephiroth’s arm to try and force them apart. The chocobo narrowed his eyes and took Sephiroth’s lengthy silver hair into his beak before he yanked it. 

The force the bird put behind the motion made Sephiroth hiss as his neck was jerked backwards, sharply pulling at the swordsman’s scalp, making the back of his head prickle and itch as well as ache. 

Lightning rushed towards the Angel to try and get him to let go of Sephiroth’s hair. Lightning lightly tapped his beak with a stern growl when he tugged Sephiroth’s hair again. 

‘Let go,’ she warned. 

Lightning looked at the chocobo with furrowed brows and a scowl. 

The bird reluctantly opened his beak and Lightning pulled the strands of silver hair out of harm’s way. 

Sephiroth rubbed his head and groaned, this chocobo was getting on his nerves. 

‘That wasn’t nice,’ Lightning scolded the Angel. 

Sephiroth glared dangerously at the chocobo. 

The Angel stared smugly at Sephiroth as he flapped his wings and hopped with happiness. 

Lightning crossed her arms and shook her head at the animal. 

‘Do you have anything to say for yourself?’ she asked the bird. 

The chocobo turned around, making sure that his tail feathers brushed Sephiroth’s face before he strutted back to the small pen near the vet’s tent. 

The swordsman huffed before he slid the hair-tie out of his hair and rubbed the back of his head with a wince. 

Lightning reached out and gently ran her hand down the back of his head, feeling his silky smooth hair slide across her fingertips as she looked at him with concern. 

‘Are you okay?’ 

‘I’m fine,’ Sephiroth replied. 

She dropped her hand back down to her side and Sephiroth scooped up his hair to put it in another ponytail, there was no way he was going to bathe a cheeky chocobo like Chelsea with his hair getting in the way. 

‘You weren’t kidding, he really doesn’t like you,’ Lightning commented as she glanced over at the chocobo. 

The Angel looked pretty proud of himself despite the fact that the Saviour had told him off. 

‘It’s funny how chocobos seem to be his one weakness,’ Hope commented as he tried to stifle his laughter. 

‘Great. Another scientist whose sense of humour involves some degree of schadenfreude,’ Sephiroth replied with a scowl. 

‘You’re not helping, Hope,’ Lightning scolded. 

‘I should go and bathe Chelsea,’ Sephiroth said. 

‘Good luck with that,’ Lightning said. 

‘I’m going to need it,’ Sephiroth sighed. ‘Chelsea loves to be difficult.’ 

Lightning crossed her arms and chuckled as she watched Sephiroth walk towards the water tank in order to fill a steel tub with water. The Saviour wandered towards the tank and leant against the wooden structure that kept it off the ground. 

Sephiroth glanced over at her before his eyes returned to the water that slowly trickled down from the tap. 

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Lightning asked. 

‘I’m fine. I’m still not used to this kind of labour. It’s… more Angeal’s thing. I’d be better suited to hunting down chocobo eaters,’ Sephiroth replied. 

‘It’s only until the Angel can fly,’ Lightning said. 

‘Chocobos glide,’ Sephiroth corrected. 

Lightning whacked his arm with the back of her hand. ‘Whatever, it’s the same thing.’ 

Sephiroth looked at her with a frustrated sigh. ‘As someone who can fly, I have to disagree.’ 

‘How can you even fly with just one wing anyway?’ Hope questioned. 

‘I… I’m actually not sure, I never bothered to ask any of the scientists,’ Sephiroth answered. 

‘But, you shouldn’t be able to fly with just one wing,’ Hope argued. 

‘Bees fly and scientists have argued that it should be physically impossible for them to,’ Sephiroth countered. 

Lightning couldn’t help but to chuckle at how ridiculous Hope and Sephiroth were being. Though Sephiroth didn’t usually speak up when Hope chatted to Lightning through their earpieces, whenever Sephiroth and Hope actually conversed, it usually involved them arguing about topics like the origins of the Chaos and why the infusions affected Hope’s equipment. Even if Lightning didn’t care to look up what all of the scientific language they spouted at each other meant, she still found it hilarious. 

‘But you aren’t a bee,’ Hope reasoned. 

‘I am perfectly aware of that,’ Sephiroth replied. 

‘What’s your point then?’ Hope questioned with a groan. 

‘It should be impossible for me to fly according to theory, but I can. That is my point,’ Sephiroth answered. 

The fact that Sephiroth replied with a completely expressionless face made Lightning chuckle louder. ‘He’s got you there, Hope.’ 

Hope groaned with annoyance before he became quiet again. 

Sephiroth smirked, pleased that he had won that argument. 

Thirteen, Dr Gysahl’s current assistant, walked over with a leading rope, a bottle of chocobo shampoo, a yellow sponge, and a towel bundled up in her arms. She stopped with a gasp when Sephiroth’s eyes flickered over towards her. Thirteen dropped what she was carrying and rushed back over to the tent. 

Lightning crossed her arms and shook her head at him. 

‘Stop intimidating the poor girl,’ Lightning said. 

‘Light, all I did was look at her,’ Sephiroth replied. ‘I know my eyes bother Thirteen, I overheard her saying so.’

He slung the towel and the leading rope over his shoulder before he picked up the sponge and the bottle. Sephiroth pulled the cap off the shampoo and drizzled it into the tub, letting the water that flowed down from the tap swirl it around to create bubbles. 

‘Oh really, that’s all you did? Genesis told me that during your time in SOLDIER, you made a five-year-old cry just by ‘looking at them’,’ Lightning pointed out.   
Sephiroth sighed and put the cap back on the bottle before he placed it up on the wooden structure and dropped the sponge into the tub. ‘I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve never been a people person.’ 

‘But making a five-year-old cry?’ Lightning questioned. 

‘People often fear what they don’t understand or can’t explain,’ Sephiroth answered. 

Lightning uncrossed her arms and stared up at the sky with a small frown. ‘Like l’Cie.’ 

‘Exactly,’ Sephiroth said with a small nod. 

Lightning turned his face towards hers and ran her thumb across his lips as she stared into his eyes. 

His brilliant bright green irises still retained their slight glow, even in the full sunshine. They were framed by thick long lashes that fluttered as he blinked. His cat-like pupils regarded her with caution as she stared back with her rounded ones. He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t stop staring at how her ice blue eyes glittered in the sunlight. 

‘I don’t know why she’s scared of them. I think they’re beautiful,’ Lightning whispered with a small smile. 

His lips went to widen into a smile, but they quickly returned to a slight frown as Sephiroth closed his eyes and gently pushed her hand away. ‘Don’t lie for my sake.’ 

‘Why would I lie?’ Lightning asked and placed her hands on her hips as she pursed her lips in annoyance.   
Sephiroth turned the tap off and looked at her with surprise. ‘Do you really like them?’

‘I do,’ Lightning replied. 

‘You two are as cute. Almost as cute as an awkward high school relationship. You know, like the one I never had,’ Hope commented. 

‘Hope, enough,’ Lightning warned. 

‘What? I’m just being honest,’ Hope quipped. 

‘No, you’re just being a nuisance,’ Sephiroth said and picked up the steel tub, the water sloshed around with every little movement he made. 

‘I have to agree with Sephiroth, you’re being a pest,’ Lightning commented and stood away from the water tank. 

Hope huffed and mumbled to himself before he went silent again. 

Sephiroth and Lightning breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, they had gotten Hope to shut up, for a little while at least. 

Lightning followed Sephiroth towards the back fence where the unruly chocobo chirruped happily as she covered herself in grass stains, dirt and even a little mud. 

Dr Gysahl uncrossed his arms and dramatically set them down by his side when he saw Sephiroth approach the fence. 

‘Finally. Now please make sure that bird is spotless. We can’t let her scratches get infected,’ the vet commanded. 

Creases appeared on the bridge of Lightning’s nose, the Saviour didn’t appreciate Dr Gysahl’s tone. She looked up at Sephiroth and saw that he appeared to be completely unbothered by it. 

‘Of course,’ Sephiroth replied and stopped at the fence. 

Once the vet was satisfied that the task was going to be attempted, he turned and walked back to his tent where Thirteen stood waiting for her next set of instructions. 

‘Hold this for me,’ Sephiroth said and Lightning took the tub from him. 

‘How are you not bothered by that man’s attitude?’ Lightning asked and pursed her lips in annoyance. 

‘Dr Gysahl? He’s fine, I’ve dealt with much worse on a daily basis,’ Sephiroth replied and climbed over the fence. 

‘Worse?’ Lightning questioned as he dropped down to the other side and set the towel and the leading rope down on the fence. 

‘Don’t ask. Just count your lucky stars you haven’t met him yet,’ Sephiroth answered. ‘I’ll take the tub now.’ 

Lightning sat the tub full of water on top of the fence, which only rose up to her waist. Sephiroth took the tub from her and set it down on the ground beside his feet. 

‘Thanks,’ he said with a small smile. 

Lightning rested her elbows against the fence as Sephiroth began to remove his gloves. The Saviour looked at him with curiosity. ‘Okay, what are you doing?’

Sephiroth placed the gloves down by her elbows and he began to unbuckle his coat. ‘Water and leather is one of the most uncomfortable combinations of sensations ever experienced. I’m not chasing after a stubborn, dirty chocobo in wet leather.’ 

‘Well you’re the one who said you’d help the people. Too bad they didn’t ask for a wet tee-shirt contest, you’d probably win the competition hands down,’ Lightning replied with a chuckle. 

‘Very funny, but I’d disagree. I’m pretty sure that some of the garbs you have would be perfect for one. I think that one the Chocobo Girls gave you in Yusnaan would be perfect for it,’ Sephiroth commented as he shrugged off his coat and his chest straps and hung them on the fence. 

‘Shut up,’ Lightning said and leant over the fence to whack his stomach with the back of her hand. ‘Cloud was right, you’re trouble.’ 

‘I’m hoping that I’m giving you the right kind of trouble,’ Sephiroth replied with a smirk. 

‘You two make me sick,’ Hope muttered.

Sephiroth chuckled as Lightning sighed and rolled her eyes at Hope. Sephiroth picked up the leading rope and used his thumb to push the knob that opened the clasp, ready to hook it onto Chelsea’s bridle. He watched the bird wiggle her neck around in a patch of dirt, getting the fine brown particles all over her yellow plumage. 

Lightning watched Sephiroth stalk over to where the chocobo indulged her urge get dirty, the Saviour bit her bottom lip as she watched how the sunlight danced over Sephiroth’s pale, muscular body and made his long silver hair glisten as it swayed with his movements. 

‘You know she’s watching you, right?’ Hope asked Sephiroth. 

Lightning’s cheeks went bright red and she glanced down at the ground with a groan. 

Sephiroth looked over his shoulder at her, a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. ‘I know she is.’ 

He turned back to where Chelsea squirmed in the grass a few metres away from where he stood. 

Lightning looked up from the ground and wondered if it was safe for her to do so. She breathed a small sigh of relief when she noticed that his back was turned to her once more. She rested her cheek on the heel of her palm and watched to see how he would handle Chelsea and her dirt-loving ways. 

The chocobo pushed herself onto her feet, but didn’t get up. She sat in the dirt and ruffled her feathers. The bird saw Sephiroth out of the corner of her eye and she turned to observe him. Chelsea’s eyes sparkled with mischief, a look that Sephiroth had often seen Genesis use many times. The bird puffed out her chest and tried to look taller as Sephiroth crept closer. 

He held out his empty hand to the chocobo and reached out to scratch the top of her neck. Chelsea tilted her head a little further back and closed her eyes with a low coo as Sephiroth rubbed her neck. 

He took the opportunity to clip the lead to her bridle without Chelsea putting up too much of a fight. 

‘Good girl,’ he said as the bird nuzzled his hand. 

Lightning smiled as she watched Sephiroth coax Chelsea to her feet. It wasn’t an easy task, the bird didn’t want to get out of the dirt. 

Sephiroth gently lifted the rope up in the hopes that Chelsea would stand up in order to relieve the awkward position her head was in, but the bird refused to move. 

Lightning laughed as he crossed his arms and glowered at the chocobo. She could tell that he hoped that it would be as effective with the animal as it used to be with recruits. 

Unfortunately, all it made the bird do was wiggle and flap her wings, creating more dust. 

Chelsea craned her neck to look behind Sephiroth and chirped as she got to her feet. 

Lightning’s smile dropped when she noticed the bird Chelsea had called to was none other than the Angel of Valhalla. 

‘Uh, Sephiroth. The Angel’s behind you,’ Lightning called and pointed at the mythical beast. 

He looked over his shoulder and up at the beautiful white bird with an unamused scowl, which the bird eagerly returned. 

‘Don’t hurt him,’ Lightning called. 

Sephiroth looked over at Lightning with a small smile. ‘I won’t.’ 

‘I wasn’t talking to you,’ Lightning replied and the smile fell off Sephiroth’s face. 

He looked back at the Angel, who had puffed himself up and held his head high with a smugness that the swordsman and the Saviour couldn’t ignore. 

Sephiroth sighed and returned his focus to the dirty yellow bird who desperately needed a bath. 

The Angel followed Chelsea as Sephiroth led her to the tethering post not far from where Lightning stood. 

The white chocobo nuzzled the top of Lightning’s head as Sephiroth secured the leading rope to the post. 

She looked up at the Angel and wrapped her arms around his neck to give him a cuddle. 

The bird bent down and rested his head on the back of her shoulder. 

The Saviour hummed in contentment as the Angel nuzzled her neck. 

Sephiroth glanced over at Lightning and pursed his lips before he was smacked in the face by Chelsea as she fluttered her wings. He glared at Chelsea, who in turn started at him a sweet wide-eyed look that would have made him believe that he was dealing with a young child rather than a chocobo. 

Lightning let the Angel go and the white chocobo nuzzled her cheek before he wandered out into the field. 

Chelsea squawked gleefully at the mythical bird, the Angel returned the call and walked towards the grotty chocobo. 

Sephiroth sighed and picked up the sponge. He didn’t want to deal with both the Angel of Valhalla and an overly energetic chocobo, however, he had little choice in the matter. 

‘Head up,’ he said and gently tapped the bottom of Chelsea’s beak to try and coax the bird to lift her head. 

Chelsea raised her head up and stood still as Sephiroth began to run the sponge over her dirty yellow feathers. Her brightly coloured plumage began to emerge from underneath the thick layers of grime that she had spent the good part of her day accumulating. She cooed with delight when he scratched the corner of her neck in order to get the grass stains off the feathers underneath her beak. 

The Angel circled around Chelsea and stood behind Sephiroth. 

Though the swordsman could practically feel the Angel’s cold judgemental glare focusing on his back, he ignored the bird and continued to wash the dirt off of Chelsea. 

She didn’t care that Sephiroth was washing away all the evidence of her morning frolic, she was getting neck scratches and neck scratches were her favourite. 

Lightning couldn’t help but to chuckle a little as she saw a small smile climb up onto Sephiroth’s lips as he tried to avoid being hit by Chelsea’s excited flapping. 

Chelsea lowered her head down so that she could get a proper scratch. 

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and continued to indulge the bird whilst he worked the grass stains and dirt out of her feathers. His hands were filthy; one was covered in sludge because the water had turned the dirt into mud and he had gotten dirt under the fingernails of the other.

He stepped away from the chocobo and plunged both his hands and the sponge into the water to clean them before he resumed his task. 

Chelsea nudged his back and slanted her head sideways in an attempt to make herself look cute, just so that he would get back to scratching. 

Unfortunately for Chelsea, her neck was nice and clean now. The pats and affection she wanted would have to wait until later. 

Chelsea whined and tried to wriggle away from the sponge as Sephiroth started to focus on cleaning her chest area. 

Sephiroth knew very well that Chelsea’s chest was sensitive, that was where the majority of her healing wounds were. 

‘It’ll be over soon,’ Sephiroth told the bird with a frustrated huff. ‘You shouldn’t have gotten dirty if you didn’t want to be bathed.’ 

Lightning leant on the fence and watched the Angel closely, he puffed his chest out and made himself appear much bigger than he was. She hoped that the bird wouldn’t attack Sephiroth again. 

The Angel kept his head up tall and proud but his chest deflated a little when he saw the hard time that Chelsea was giving Sephiroth. 

The yellow chocobo stood on Sephiroth’s foot an attempt to avoid having her sensitive chest washed. 

Sephiroth winced and hissed in pain. 

The Angel nudged Sephiroth in the back hard enough to push him straight into Chelsea’s beating wings. 

The tip of the yellow chocobo’s wing collided with Sephiroth’s face, whacking his nose with a loud crack.

Lightning grimaced and ignored Hope’s laughter as she watched Sephiroth wince and gently prod at his sensitive nose. 

‘Are you okay?’ she asked. 

Sephiroth moved his hand away from his nose and looked up at her with a sigh. ‘I’m fine.’ 

‘Maybe give her some more neck scratches?’ Lightning offered. 

Sephiroth ducked as Chelsea almost hit him with her wing again. He stood up again and shushed the bird as he reached up to her neck. 

The bird stopped writhing against the rope that kept her tethered and she visibly relaxed as he scratched her favourite spot again. 

Lightning glanced over at the white bird and saw that he too had calmed down. She and Sephiroth looked at each other and briefly laughed with relief. 

‘It should be safe now,’ Lightning teased. 

He smirked at her before he returned his full attention to the bird that cooed because of the nice neck scratches she was getting. 

‘It’s alright. This will be a little uncomfortable,’ Sephiroth softly told the bird and began to gently pat Chelsea’s wounds. 

He tried to be as meticulous as possible, but it was difficult to try and keep the bird happy and occupied with one hand while trying to wash the dirt from her wounds with the other. 

‘Was she this difficult last time?’ Lightning asked. 

Sephiroth shook his head. ‘No. Although, last time, Dr Gysahl kept her occupied with a bucket of feed.’ 

Lightning snorted soundlessly. ‘Because, of course that works.’ 

Sephiroth chuckled and threw the sponge into the bucket once he was satisfied that Chelsea’s problem area was clean enough that she shouldn’t get the infections that the vet was so worried about. 

The sponge hit the water with a plop and the water sloshed around in the tub as the quiet it once had was disturbed. 

A few drops fell onto the Angel’s foot and the mythical chocobo sharply turned his head down to the offending substance. He looked up at Sephiroth as the swordsman gave Chelsea a rub on the neck. 

Sephiroth wrung out the sponge in the soapy water and walked back towards the tethered chocobo to get the rest of the grime off her. 

Chelsea was a lot more patient when it came to cleaning her tail feathers and her back. 

‘Why haven’t you bathed her wings yet?’ Lightning asked. 

Sephiroth stopped what he was doing and looked over at her. 

Just as he was going to answer her question, the Angel dipped his beak into the water and flicked a little onto Sephiroth. 

Lightning couldn’t help but to chuckle at how the swordsman huffed in distaste. 

Chelsea and the Angel of Valhalla chirped merrily.

Sephiroth pursed his lips, the birds obviously found it as funny as the Saviour had. 

‘I leave the wings for last,’ Sephiroth replied before he turned and scowled at the mystical chocobo. 

‘But why?’ Lightning questioned. 

‘Because they take the longest to clean,’ he answered. 

‘Even longer than your hair does?’ she teased. 

‘Believe it or not, yes,’ Sephiroth replied. 

Lightning watched Sephiroth gently straighten out one of Chelsea’s wings and use the sponge to ever so tenderly clean her feathers. The Saviour observed him carefully, yet meticulously clean the areas around her wings. 

As he started to clean the wing itself, Chelsea started to lean on him. 

Sephiroth released her wing when and gave her neck a gentle pat before he took a step back. 

‘Go on, sit down. This will take a while,’ Sephiroth said. 

Chelsea tucked her legs under and nestled herself in the dirt. 

He scratched her neck and the bird closed her eyes and leant into his touch. 

‘Better?’ he asked.

Chelsea chirped and she nudged his hand. 

He smiled and knelt down behind one of her wings. 

She lifted it up again and he gently straightened it out enough so that he could brush the grime off every individual feather. 

Both the Saviour and the Angel watched on in curiosity. Though the Angel was watching for any sign of discomfort from Chelsea, Lightning couldn’t help but to wonder if what he was doing now would be similar to how he would care for his own wing. 

Even if she had indulged in her curiosity and asked him, she didn’t want to deal with Hope interfering with their conversation, again. Instead, she watched how he gave her wing a tap and she held the grotty one out whilst he got up. 

Sephiroth scratched the top of Chelsea’s neck again as he wandered over to the other wing. Just as he did with the previous one, he knelt down behind it and cleaned the area around her wing. 

The Angel moved closer to Chelsea’s side and craned his head over where she sat to watch how Sephiroth cleaned her feathers. 

He looked up at the Angel, but then returned his attention back to her wings. 

Lightning climbed up onto the fence and sat on it so she didn’t have to lean against the fence anymore. 

‘And there. You’re all clean,’ Sephiroth announced and gently tapped her wing once more. 

He got up and walked around Chelsea to toss the sponge back in the tub as the bird got to her feet. Sephiroth picked up the towel he had left on the fence and walked it back over to Chelsea. 

He quickly rubbed it over her feathers to try and get rid of most of the excess moisture. The nights were cold in the Wildlands after all, and he wanted Chelsea to be comfortable instead of sleeping with a rug that restricted her wings. 

Lightning couldn’t help but to chuckle at the bird’s dishevelled plumage; it was even more ruffled than the bird could ever make them herself. 

Once Sephiroth was relatively happy that she would dry off enough so that the night’s chill wouldn’t make her colder than usual, he slung the wet towel over his shoulder and unclipped the lead from her bridle. 

He gave her one last pat before he untied the rope and walked back over to where Lightning sat. He gave Lightning a relieved smile as he dropped the towel and the rope on the ground and placed his hands on her hips. 

The Saviour leant down to kiss him, but she instantly straightened up and scrunched her nose as she waved her hand in front of her nose. 

‘You smell like wet chocobo,’ she noted. 

Sephiroth nodded in understanding and settled for leaning against the fence beside her. He reached for his ponytail and gave it a quick sniff to see if it was as pungent as Lightning seemed to believe it was. 

Lightning laughed as he scrunched up his face and dropped his hair. 

He could smell the dirt, the chocobo shampoo and wet feathers. It was bad enough when he could smell his own wet feathers, but the fact that it wasn’t even his own made it smell even worse. 

‘I need a shower,’ he muttered with a grimace. 

‘You really do,’ Lightning agreed. 

The Angel stood beside Chelsea as the bird stretched out her legs and wriggled around to loosen any extra droplets from her plumage. The white chocobo heard Lightning chuckle at Sephiroth as he pulled his hair out of the ponytail and ran his fingers through it. 

Chelsea fluttered her wings happily and began to wander towards where the other three yellow chocobos stood around and waited for their filth-loving friend to return from her second bath of the day. 

The Angel watched how Sephiroth attempted to embrace Lightning to give her a kiss, but she pushed him away with her foot and chuckled. 

‘You’re not going to make me smell like wet chocobo,’ she exclaimed. 

The mythical bird plodded over to where Sephiroth stood with his back turned to the tub and eyed him once more. 

Sephiroth didn’t take heed of the bird’s presence or the creature’s frosty attitude towards him. 

When Sephiroth turned around to go and dump the tub water, the bird snuck up behind him. 

Lightning saw that the Angel had begun to trail Sephiroth and her amusement quickly faded into concern. 

‘Sephiroth?’ Lightning called, her voice sounded a little uneasy. 

Just as he turned around, the Angel head-butted him in the sternum and caused Sephiroth to clutch his chest and stumble backward with a grunt. The heel of his boot struck the back of the tub and he stopped before he toppled into the murky water. 

Lightning crossed her arms and shook her head, she didn’t understand why the Angel of Valhalla seemed to despise Sephiroth. 

Before the swordsman could properly regain his footing, the bird pecked him and he fell backward into the tub. 

Lightning clasped her hands over her mouth and tried not to laugh as the Angel held his head up high in smug victory before he pranced away to join Chelsea and the others. 

Sephiroth closed his eyes and clenched his fists. He pushed himself out of the tub and huffed. 

Not only did his trousers feel heavy because they had gotten wet, he could feel the water trickling down the backs of his legs and pooling in the soles of his boots. 

His boots squelched as he walked over to where Lightning sat on the fence. 

She sat with her hands in her lap instead of on her mouth as she tried to subtly muffle her chuckling.

Hope, however, didn’t even bother to try and cover up the fact that he found it hilarious. 

‘I hate chocobos,’ Sephiroth announced.


End file.
